--- title: "I Take Thee Quagmire (S04E21) | familyguy.co.uk" canonical: "https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e21-i-take-thee-quagmire/" updatedDate: 2026-09-06 author: Alex Moss description: "I Take Thee Quagmire: Family Guy season 4 episode 21 (S04E21), first aired 12 March 2006. Writer and director credits." --- # I Take Thee Quagmire Episode 21 of Family Guy season 4 (S04E21), the 71st Family Guy episode overall. Written by Tom Maxwell, Don Woodard and Steve Callaghan and directed by Seth Kearsley. First broadcast on 12 March 2006. ## Story Peter wins the bonus round on Wheel of Fortune; his prizes include a week of free maid service. He works the maid, Joan, relentlessly. Quagmire meets her, falls in love, proposes and changes his whole personality. At the wedding reception Lois's shirt tears open, showing breasts swollen since she began weaning Stewie, and Quagmire realises he wants his old life back. When he raises an annulment, Joan threatens to cut herself and him. Peter helps him fake his death, first with an unconvincing video, then with a staged heart attack and burial in an air-stocked coffin. Mayor West's order that coffins be set in concrete forces Peter to dig him up alive. Death arrives for Quagmire, but Joan grabs Death's arm and dies instead. Meanwhile Stewie, in withdrawal from breast milk, tries to pump Lois in her sleep before accepting the change, only for her to resume feeding him. ## Production and reception - Tom Maxwell, Don Woodard and Steve Callaghan wrote the episode and Seth Kearsley directed; Seth MacFarlane called it the first real Quagmire story. ([Wikipedia: I Take Thee Quagmire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Take_Thee_Quagmire)) - Bryan Cranston voiced Hal in a Malcolm in the Middle cutaway after Jane Kaczmarek declined to voice her character; Alex Trebek, Adam Carolla and Christy Carlson Romano were also guests. ([Wikipedia: I Take Thee Quagmire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Take_Thee_Quagmire)) - Fox bleeped one word of Cleveland's remark when Quagmire meets Joan, and a Crystal Pepsi gag appears only on the DVD because television rules forbid promoting one product over another. ([Wikipedia: I Take Thee Quagmire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Take_Thee_Quagmire)) - Nielsen ratings put the first airing at 8.06 million homes, and the episode closes with a tribute to Don Knotts. ([Wikipedia: I Take Thee Quagmire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Take_Thee_Quagmire)) - Tom Eames of Digital Spy ranked it fourth among the show's best episodes, and Michael Drucker of IGN found the Volume 4 episodes funnier than those of Volume 3. ([Wikipedia: I Take Thee Quagmire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Take_Thee_Quagmire)) ## Facts | Fact | Detail | | --- | --- | | Season | 4 | | Episode | 21 of 30 | | Overall | No. 71 | | Code | S04E21 | | First aired | 12 March 2006 | | Directed by | Seth Kearsley | | Written by | Tom Maxwell, Don Woodard and Steve Callaghan | | Production code | 4ACX23 | | Source | Wikipedia: Family Guy season 4 | | Wikidata | Q532042 | | IMDb | tt0772467 | | Verification | Checked against Wikidata and IMDb: Wikidata lists fewer writers | | US viewers | 8.06 million | ## Voices | Voice | Characters | | --- | --- | | Seth MacFarlane | Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin | | Alex Borstein | Lois Griffin | | Seth Green | Ricky | | Mila Kunis | Meg Griffin | | Adam Carolla | Death | | Stephan Cox | Pat Sajak | | Bryan Cranston | Hal | | Ralph Garman | Alec Baldwin | | Darrel Heath | Screaming Black Dolphin 2 | | Mike Henry | Cleveland Brown | Principal voice credits as recorded by IMDb, which lists up to ten credits per episode, so recurring characters can be missing here. Guest voices below come from Wikipedia and TVmaze. ### Guest voices - Adam Carolla as Death - Stephan Cox - Bryan Cranston as Hal - Darrel Heath - Beth Littleford as Jane Kaczmarek - Christy Carlson Romano as Quagmire's One-Night Stand - Nicole Sullivan as Joan, Joan the Maid - Fred Tatasciore as Construction Worker - Alex Thomas - Alex Trebek as himself, Alex Trebek - Patrick Warburton as Joe Swanson - Adam West as Mayor Adam West - Jennifer Tilly as Bonnie Swanson - John Viener as Announcer - Danny Smith as Minister - Steve Callaghan as Operator ## Links - Season: [4](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/season-4/) - Source: [Wikipedia: Family Guy season 4](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Guy_season_4) - Wikidata: [Q532042](https://www.wikidata.org/wiki/Q532042) - IMDb: [tt0772467](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0772467/) - US viewers: [8.06 million](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Guy_season_4) ## Navigation - Previous: [S04E20 Patriot Games](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e20-patriot-games/) - Next: [S04E22 Sibling Rivalry](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e22-sibling-rivalry/) - Season hub: [Season 4](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/season-4/) - All episodes: [Family Guy episode guide](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/) ## Season 4: episode 21 of 30 - S04E01 [North by North Quahog](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e01-north-by-north-quahog/) - S04E02 [Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e02-fast-times-at-buddy-cianci-jr-high/) - S04E03 [Blind Ambition](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e03-blind-ambition/) - S04E04 [Don't Make Me Over](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e04-dont-make-me-over/) - S04E05 [The Cleveland–Loretta Quagmire](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e05-the-cleveland-loretta-quagmire/) - S04E06 [Petarded](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e06-petarded/) - S04E07 [Brian the Bachelor](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e07-brian-the-bachelor/) - S04E08 [8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e08-8-simple-rules-for-buying-my-teenage-daughter/) - S04E09 [Breaking Out Is Hard to Do](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e09-breaking-out-is-hard-to-do/) - S04E10 [Model Misbehavior](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e10-model-misbehavior/) - S04E11 [Peter's Got Woods](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e11-peters-got-woods/) - S04E12 [Perfect Castaway](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e12-perfect-castaway/) - S04E13 [Jungle Love](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e13-jungle-love/) - S04E14 [PTV](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e14-ptv/) - S04E15 [Brian Goes Back to College](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e15-brian-goes-back-to-college/) - S04E16 [The Courtship of Stewie's Father](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e16-the-courtship-of-stewies-father/) - S04E17 [The Fat Guy Strangler](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e17-the-fat-guy-strangler/) - S04E18 [The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e18-the-father-the-son-and-the-holy-fonz/) - S04E19 [Brian Sings and Swings](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e19-brian-sings-and-swings/) - S04E20 [Patriot Games](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e20-patriot-games/) - S04E21 I Take Thee Quagmire (this entry) - S04E22 [Sibling Rivalry](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e22-sibling-rivalry/) - S04E23 [Deep Throats](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e23-deep-throats/) - S04E24 [Peterotica](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e24-peterotica/) - S04E25 [You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e25-you-may-now-kiss-the-uh-guy-who-receives/) - S04E26 [Petergeist](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e26-petergeist/) - S04E27 [The Griffin Family History](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e27-the-griffin-family-history/) - S04E28 [Stewie B. Goode](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e28-stewie-b-goode/) - S04E29 [Bango Was His Name, Oh!](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e29-bango-was-his-name-oh/) - S04E30 [Stu and Stewie's Excellent Adventure](https://familyguy.co.uk/episodes/s04e30-stu-and-stewies-excellent-adventure/) --- Unofficial fan resource. Not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by FOX, Disney, or Fuzzy Door Productions.