Tales of Former Sports Glory

A cable fault at the Drunken Clam leaves the bar with local channels only and no sport to watch, so Peter and his friends invent sporting pasts of their own. Cleveland casts himself as a Cuban baseball player who defects, signs for the Toronto Blue Jays and reacts badly to the Canadian climate. Quagmire claims to have been a tennis prodigy from New York whose 1970s success faded, his career finished by 2001. Peter, in a send-up of Rocky, plays an Italian American boxer from Philadelphia who takes the title and then dies in a vat of cream cheese. Joe doubts all three accounts and mentions his own competitive aerobics.